Legacy Dave

Legacy Dave is the unofficial mascot of the Jenkem House. An aristocratic gentleman who, with his sidekick Pacman fights crime worldwide. He has not only destroyed the coal industry, but also killed a giant by making him take up smoking. Despite being strictly anti-smoking, he always carries a huge cuban cigar which he uses to kill those he despises through second hand smoke. He has appeared consistantly throughout The Jenkem House Anthology since his appearence in the first Once Upon A Time story on, oh, about page 9. That's a guess.

Behaviour
"Eye dident sighn up four this bellend" - Legacy Dave on the Jenkem Wiki ''"Yu wanker dave we were supposde to bee at Nandos toneyet!" - Pacman on Legacy Dave's failure to book a table.''

Generally, Legacy Dave, along with Pacman speaks in a just-about comprehensible drone in which words are spelt and thus sounded phonetically. It's basically a form of Leetspeek, but posher.

Adventures
Legacy Dave and Pacman have starred in many adventures in The Jenkem House Anthology

Episode 1
A Giant terrorising a village is killed by Legacy dave when he succumbs to cancer caused by a cigar Dave gave him. Dave then proclaims weed to be OK, and goes on to annoy a pear.

Episode 2
Pacman's first appearance. Margaret Thatcher is closing the Coal Mines, but a stern word from Dave is all it takes to stop her. However, Dave then destroys the industry when he sets all the country's mines alight with a discarded cigar. It's okay though, as Russia still has plenty of coal.

Episode 3
Mayor T warns the team that Gordon Brown is beating up Adam Ant. The Davemobile is too slow though, and Adam is dead when they arrive. Pacman then shoots Gordon for cocking up British politics, and Mayor T congratulates them. The corpses are sold for Turkey Twizzler meat.

Episode 4
The author is out of ideas, so Legacy Dave proclaims it the last episode of the book while Pacman is crushed by 16t Weights again and again. Finally the end comes in the form of a Beaver-Squirrel hybrid.

Episode 5
A special short edition explaining the usage of the word Douché. The team suggest that you use it on your friends.