The Hoover Incident

The Hoover Incident immortalised Hallam Welsh as a true legend of the Jenkem House. It occured through sheer boredom.

Official Explanation
Hallam explained the incident as such:

" I was at home hoovering, and I was bored, so I hoovered my face."

Results
The incident came to light when Jacob Smith noticed red marks on Hallam's cheeks. It turned out these were essentially lovebites from Hoover suction. The dry responce of Hallam to Jacob of "Hoover" when he asked how the marks had occurred sent him into a laughing fit which to date is the most Jacob has laughed in his life. Since then, many drawings of the incident have been created, leading to a rich tapestry of "Hallamart."

Recent Developments
Recently, after a haircut, Hallam has taken to covering up his head with his hood at all times, even when inside a baking classroom. At first, this was dismissed as Hallam being ashamed of a botched mop-chop, but the few times people managed to pull the thing off him, a good-looking head of hair was revealed. It didn't take long for rumors involving hoovers to the forehead and neck to start circulating. Such rumors are now taken as absolute fact by everyone on the planet.

Update: 1/11/10: Hallam no longer walks around all day with his hood over his head, finally allowing his sexy new head of hair to blow eroticly in the wind. He also seems much happier, as though some kind of desire of his is being satisfied. It should be noted that the few weeks he refused to show his whole head are ample time for a sucction wound to heal. Just sayin'.