The Pigeon of Confusion

The Pigeon of Confusion (A.K.A. Confused Pigeon) is a common sight in the Borough of Lough, where pigeons frequently flock to get one of their 5 pieces of litter per day, consisting mainly of discarded McDonalds wrappers, unwanted Subway sandwiches (Usually thrown away by the Grammar School kids because they can afford to chuck a £10 cob away) and general leaf litter. The Confused Pigeon is a rather unusual specimen, however, as it's brain can alter size. It can either be stupider than your average pigeon, or a lot more intelligent. Each different circumstance leaves the Confused Pigeon utterly, well, confused.

Intelligent State
When the Pigeon of Confusion has an unusually high amount of brain power for an urban dove, it can be paralleled to Jack Greatrex when drunk, as it can recite speeches, speak backwards and make awfully terrible jokes. The Pigeon's brain at this size will normally continue down it's neck and branch at the wings, where it will rest. Having been outcast from human society because of obvious stereotypes and physical differences, it is frequently depressed, and always confused about why pigeons behave in the way that they do. All his efforts to educate them go amiss, as his fellow Columbidae lack the necessary intellect to comprehend his thoughts

Idiotic State
In this state, the Pigeon of Confusion will be comparable to Bag Head on a good day, and will obviously have an eighth of the average pigeon's brain power. This leaves the poor bird almost braindead, so constantly questions the things we take for granted, like limbs or a physical being. It's lack of brain makes it impossible for the Pigeon to do anything, really. For a week or two, the longest recorded time being 17 consecutive months, the Confused Pigeon will stand in the same spot, occasionally remembering to move it's neck muscles to look somewhere else. The bird will eventually drift off to sleep and wake up either in the Idiotic state or the Intelligent state. Scientists are currently examining how the states of the pigeon's mind alter