Christopher Malla

Christopher Malla is a student at Rawlins Community College, and a member of The Jenkem House. He is well known for his evolution through various obsessive phases, currently making others endure a Mod obsession.

Basic information
He is affectionatley known as 'King Metaphese The Second G'Noit! G'Noit!' His Interests include:
 * Unmentionable Degeneracy
 * Ultra-Violence
 * John Lennon's Left Leg
 * Mercury Spoons
 * Picking at his skin
 * Bread observing
 * He is a type 6

History
Born in 1956 in the Turkish island of Cyprus, he soon moved to England to attend school. However, his ship was blown off course and he became trapped in ice until his freeing in 1998, courtesy of Global Warming from the body fat of Sean Burbidge. He did a lot of aimless wandering before enlisting at Humphrey Perkins Military Correction Camp in 2004, where he met Jacob Hill by chance when the bus broke down on induction days. There then followed a rendition of "Eye Of The Tiger" before his voice began to break in year 8 and he lost most of his singing talent.

Phases
After the Ball Dropping incident, Malla experimented with many phases, mostly courtesy of peer pressure from Jack Greatrex.
 * Punk Phase - At the end of year 8 into year 9, he was obsessed with the Sex Pistols. It was during this point that Oktoberfest were formed. He started playing guitar during this phase, complete with shitty solos.
 * Hippie/Stoner Phase - The Second half of year 9 through to Year 10. Characterised by the belief that Incense had narcotic properties (another load of bullshit from Jack,) this phase did see Oktoberfest get slightly better. Note the use of the term "Slightly."
 * Commie Phase - Started with "Red Summer" at the end of year 9, and continued through to year 12 in some extents. Along with Jake, Jack and later Jonathan Waller, Malla was a wannabe revolutionary who learnt all about Soviet Russia but didnt implement any of its teachings into real life.
 * Mod Phase - Year 12 to present. Jake went along with this for a while, then realised the music it produced is frankly quite shit. He's a mod now, basically. Obsessed with Scooters, The Jam and Quadrophenia. Fun times!

Quotes Concerning Him

 * Yum - Oscar Wilde
 * HE is the walrus - John Lennon
 * Who? - Some Guy
 * WOAH! His scarf is, like, trippy! - Some Random Hippy
 * Yes Please! - Jack Greatrex